How Much For Freedom?

How much will we take? Where is the breaking point? For me? For you?

What has to go before we will wake up? For you?

At what point do we give up trying to work through a broken system?

Is freedom worth your life? What is then? Is anything?

Do something. Anything.

My Empire of Dirt.

"I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing thats real." -Johnny Cash - Hurt

Of course a cover, original done by Nine Inch Nails. I have to write to keep myself sane right now I guess. So many thoughts running through my head as I play this song over and over again.

When you think you understand everything, it's time for you to be shown you don't. Sometimes I am so quick to jump to my own conclusions on what is right, or how something should be handled. I can never be wrong in my own eyes can I? I always find a way to justify something to myself.

I greatly doubt my ability to change the world. What is the point? Where does God fit into it? I think I have it all figured out, what needs to happen, when, and why. I know best, right? Here comes life.

What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know, goes away in the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down, I will make you hurt.

Keep on Sleeping My Generation...

What is wrong with us? We are entertained far beyond what people years ago could have only imagined. We are masters in the art of escapism! We don't care because we have better things to do, they are more fun, and certainly more convenient.

Our country is going downhill so fast, but we turn a blind eye, if we even notice it at all. Each day it seems there is some law, buried among a few hundred page bill, that takes another piece of our freedom from us. We are stuck in a war that will never end, and our money might as well be worth less than used toilet paper soon. Yet we yawn and take a nap.

I have heard it said that our generation still has time to, "find its face." I am beginning to wonder if that person was high. When will we do something to shape the world, to stand up for what is right, to wake up to the real world around us? Do they have to start the draft and take away our internet?

Sleep on my generation, sleep on.

.my thoughts as pixels

It has been many months since I have written in this, and I think I am currently writing more for myself rather than for others, but feel free read.

Currently finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it has spurred this late night venture into deep though and beyond. Along with that it, it has encouraged this writing, or transformation of thoughts into pixels if you will.

First and foremost I would like to thank God for freedom and freewill, without it this post would not be possible. I have so much to learn, but more on that later, if I feel it is necessary.

Second of all, the movie invoked a lot of thought about previous relationships. Thought of Rachelle, who just had her baby this past week (I still don't think I fully understand that). We had a deep and complicated relationship, but I wouldn't give up those memories for anything. I often miss the companionship we had though, it was really a blast.

Also had many thoughts of Suzi. You would think that something so short would have forgotten or buried in the deepest parts of my mind by now. Crazy thing is I had a dream about her not too long ago and didn't realize it till the middle of that day and it was very strange to remember it out of no where like that. Along that very same line I just remembered that a few months ago there were a few nights in a row where I had dreams of her, very real dreams. I don't know if it really means anything, so I just pray for her.

Why is it that I put Dashboard Confessional on when I write in this thing? How emo of me. Well I do know the reason this time, it's because I saw the title of a previous post entitled Hands Down, which just so happens to be what is playing now. The reason I listened to it last time had to do with a certain someone named Diana.

Continuing with that topic I still want to visit her sometime soon. If nothing else she would be a great friend. Speaking of friends, people are getting back from school, and it is very exciting to have them around. It is also interesting not knowing how I feel about a certain one of them and not wanting to mess a great friendship up for something I am not even sure I would want in the first place. Girls seem to be the topic of this post, that is sad.

For future references, or for those who read this for fun, here are things going on in my life currently:

Alex and I are looking to film the first Episode of Living In RL in about 2 weeks.
First moderator for LegitTorrents chosen this past week.
Alex graduates in a few weeks.
Lee's house should be on the market in a day.
Brain Bros EP should be done soon.
Hosted the first ever Wired show at Berean this past Friday.

Life is so full of uncertainties that sometimes I wish it would stay the same for awhile. Changes everywhere I turn, life so crazy. Thank God I can rely on him and the promises he has made.

God bless,


How blessed I am to have two eyes that can see to read this, two hands to type it, and two legs that have carried me around all day.

How awesome it is to have life. I am a free man, and not because of the land in which I live. I am free because I have been forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ.

I. Am. Free.

I. Am. Blessed.